Sunday 15 September 2013

Against the Tide

Sitting on a rock on the stony shore, she watched the waves wash the sand away from her feet, then run back to kiss her toes. Over and over again. 
She did not have a particular reason for being on the shore so late. Maybe she did. Perhaps it was to make sense of the turbulent waves of her own life. Perhaps it was for some peace. Even she was not sure. 
Her phone rang, as phones often do, inconveniently interrupting the moment before the long awaited epiphany. Irritated she said, "hello!" sharply into her earpiece. 
The sound of his voice surprised and disarmed her. She had not been expecting to hear from him. Her tone immediately softened, and she apologised for the frosty reception. |She smiled because they said people could hear a smile in your voice and she wanted him to know she was happy to hear from him. They exchanged pleasantries, he delivered a mundane piece of information a went on his merry way. Just like that. He never seemed affected or bothered. She was the one left struggling to hold it together. Once again.  
Her disappointment was so palpable that she could taste it in her mouth. It was salty! Then she realised that the salt was from her tears. She hated how he dangled himself as a carrot before her. She was the ass, the proverbial donkey, hankering for a bite of the juicy carrot and drooling after him. How she hated it and yet how helpless she felt. 
Slipping out of her jeans and sweater, she waded into the ocean. It was an icy shock to her system. Any shock was better than the heart shocks she felt though. Determined to outrun her pain she swam deeper and deeper. 
The ocean was a mystical thing: dark and swirling, foamy and frothy. It called to her, opening its arms in a welcoming embrace, and she answered. 
picture credit: jessicakristie.com