woyome tuune!

I love how Ghanaians include a light hearted touch in all that they do, whether it's a good thing or not is a raging debate, but this is one time that it had me cracking up.

this song includes the nation's new fave word: GARGANTUAN so no wonder it'll be a huge hit! lol
the clip sums up the highlights and main players of the 'show'
enjoy! *giggles*

Sarkodie's U go kill me on CNN........by mistake though, lol

the Matter of Confidence Tricksters and others

I'm so, so upset right now. why? my confidence trickster tailor has disappointed me. What's annoying me even more is that I'm not getting much sympathy, "Aren't you used to it?" "this is Ghana oo" (accompanied by a dismissive wave of the hand) are the high ranking responses I got when i complained. I'm sure even you mtseww-ed when you read the first line. but..AH!! Ma bre!!!! Adzzzzeeenennn???? Tailors are soooo disappointing!!! and yet we're promoting Friday wear and locally made fabrics with all our might and breath. The Clothing line-people usually charge enough to buy slaves, so unless you are rolling in it you probably can't wear their stuff ever single weekend of the week. So you will surely go to a seamstress/tailor who will "poke your eye" (translate to twi). When you're fortunate enough for him/her, to have made the item of clothing (don't rejoice yet) there will probably be something wrong with it. Ahba! if it's not the hem, it'll be the sleeves or it will be too big or too small. But do you know the worst part, you will still be grateful, albeit secretly, while complaining bitterly out loud. Unfortunately there is a 50% chance that it will not look like your style at allllll. Tears shall flow, how will you find something to wear for that special event tonight or tomorrow morning, how???? Fire and brimstone will be threatened, words exchanged. An ever apologetic artisan willl try to calm you down but it won't work. You will stomp home threatening never to come back.... but another will do the saaaaaaaame thing to you and to add insult to the injury, probably charge you more. Then you will crawl back to your old love and pretend that you are simply feeling sorry for him/her or that a fellow customer begged on his/her behalf. Classic Ghanaian moment. hmmmmm. As if clothes were not bad enough, we decided to get a dresser for my room sometime back. My mum suggested one of the furniture shops on the Spintex road but laziness, as well as a feeling of dread of the deadly spintex traffic caused me to procrastinate until she simply bought one on her way home from the carpenters at Switchback road, near Flair. I have known no peace since this dresser came! There is always something wrong with it. Meaning a carpenter must be brought in to fix it: the drawers wont open...they wont close properly...one is falling in at the back! Meaning my clothes are always homeless and my room looks awful. The very reason why we got the dresser in the first place, so I could organise my clothes. Objective defeated. My mum originally wanted one too but with all this wahala she changed her mind, quick. ei!!! made in Ghana!!! ma bre mo! I really wish i could take it back but our mantra in Ghana is "goods sold out are not returnable". There is a pharmacy at Osu I stalked for about 3 weeks hoping to meet an elusive manager who would authorise the sales people to accept my returned item. I was sooo determined but after 3 weeks my tenacity and determination fled and I gave up, swearing to get them back somehow. One day when i have time, i will sue a shop for that to set an example. Of course the shop wont take it back, because they know the crap (is that a bad word? sorry if it is) they're selling to us consumers! Buying a made in Ghana drink? you must be a devout worshipper and pray it's not rancid. or hope that the seller hasn't kept it longer than it should have been kept or you will have a terrible experience. I'm soo annoyed and no one can be bothered, why? "saa na womu te" This fa-ma-Nyame attitude is killing us oo. I wish I could say I wouldn't buy anything made in Ghana but the tailors and seamstresses will eventually get me; then the drink and plantain chips manufacturers, others will follow. I might even forget about all these confidence tricksters parading as manufacturers, designers, artisans etc, till another bad experience jolts my memory. still sad about my dress. does nothing work in Ghana??? :(

Waakye blues aka Classic Ghanaian Moment

This is dedicated to all who have experienced it.

I woke up ravenously hungry one morning, craving waakye. The venerable house-help had left for work already, so there was no one to send. I set out to go and buy my food. I had not had a bath, I just wanted to get my food, come back home and eat it, all things would follow after that.
On the face of it, there were six people in front of me. In Ghana, meeting six people in front of you doesn’t mean anything. There are usually ghost names on the register, easily numbering twice as much. They materialize when it is their turn. No problem.
At the front of the queue, a woman was buying. In my opinion she was taking long, but the veterans in the queue hadn’t complained, how could I, Johnny Just Come, complain? No problem
After buying (and changing her order a few times), she took out a list. Aha! That got the members worried, and they started to grumble. Problem! She ignored everyone and continued buying. My tummy rumbled in protest, but no one heard because they were grumbling. Why did this happen so often to me kraa? A number of orders later, she turned the paper, and requested that these ones should be in packs. ‘Kai’ exclaimed one ‘Alhaji’ and he stomped off in a huff, into his 4x4 Lexus and sped off, ignoring the waakye seller’s pleas to stay. She didn’t take a cue to institute a bulk buying queue there and then oh. The wholesaler had the good grace to be embarrassed, but she didn’t stop buying. Instead she justified it saying she has gotten there first, besides it wasn’t her fault; she was buying it for her office colleagues who were in a training session and couldn’t leave the office.
Two men, discouraged, left. Ok, 3 down. My patience amazed me; I must have been very hungry. Finally she finished buying and left. 2 people in front of me were served. Yipee, my turn. Not so fast! A man appeared out of nowhere saying he was ‘in front’ of me, but he wasn’t alone. He places his orders. My tummy protesting loudly; but my mouth was saving its energy for better things.
The waakye seller then announced that her rice was finished.
mtssseewwwwwwww

picture credit: waakye group on facebook