Monday, 31 October 2011

Do you wanna be a star????

I don't watch a lot of TV, it's usually quite depressing or boring and I can find most of it on the internet anyway. Anyway, I happened to see a snippet of some programme on some channel (forgive the vagueness). The presenter was asking a young man, who I cannot identify, if he knew and had what it took to make it as a musician.
I also have a few non-Ghanaian (and some older Ghanaians) asking what "the azonto" is all about. I will now  proceed to kill two birds with one stone.
I have done some careful research and I have the answer to the interviewer's question. Take notes, in case anyone else wants to make it big in that field. I am proving my hypothesis with video clips (yes,any excuse will do)

  • Sunglasses!!

You need shades! The more the merrier. This is also especially helpful if you're not very good looking, your expensive, designer [looking] shades will dazzle the masses. But if you wear them as visual appeal enhancers please remember not to take them off for interviews etc after you make it big.

  •  The Azonto beat and/or Azonto moves

Please note that this is what is currently hot, so jump on the bandwagon Now or engineer The Next Big Thing.
The Urban Dictionary defines it as: An original Ghanaian dance in which involves rigorous hip movement and silly facial expressions.
I must add: It may also involve mock punching motions, kicks, jerky neck motions among others. Thrives on embellishment, so "feel free"

for further practice, any of these will do:

  •  Be as cute as a button, it helps. 

For some of you it is too late as your gene pool may have already conspired against you. Don't panic, refer to step 1.
It might also help if you get a trendy hairstyle and make friends with musically-inclined athletes.

  • The tune must be danceable!! WE WANT TO DANCE!!! we don't care what you're saying. 

  • If you don't av a signature move get a Catch phrase or a killer chorus!  that might just do the trick
Catch phrases: Sarkodie: obidip)nbidi * Richie: you know the name right * Kwaw kese: abodam *repeated while mock-smashing your fist against the side of your head*

Killer choruses:
Ajeii - R2Bees
Bossu Kena! - Five5
Dance like a butterfly - Xigi

The point of this is that the rest of the song becomes...well, irrelevant to a large extent. They'll chime in at the chorus eg

                                                 *scrolls at the bottom on the screen*
We are sorry we have come to the end of transmission for today. GTV, station of the Nation