Monday, 23 July 2012

Tussles In The Dark

In the dark, battle lines are being drawn. 
The darkness within cannot dare compare to the surrounding abyss of inky blackness 
Cavalry  ready and archers armed, Infantry in their ranks.
The fears. The doubts. The hopelessness. 
The battle lines are drawn. Commanded, deployed: they plough forward in a mighty onslaught!
They know it will be easy pickings. 
Outnumbered, immediately the troops weaken;
Loathing, anger, self-pity double their ranks and the battlements begin to crumble. 
Sight is clouded by welling tears. Faces are unrecognisable - contorted as the bile of impending defeat fills mouths. But doggedly territory is defended.
Flaws, weakness, regrets, mistakes are sent as reinforcements. The castle drawbridge creaks and it's hinges groan, straining to stay in position. 
All around a blanket of inky night, not a ray to be seen. 
Surrender? a plea for mercy is considered. Reason appeals but pride silences all suggestions.
The battle rages on. 
The final wave. 
Despair's soul searching gaze, is fixed on victory. 
Every nerve screams, every muscle strains, preparing for the inevitable. Eyes mercifully shut, as the yawning abyss begins to suck everything in.

To be Still or Struggle? 
Preparing to be impaled; nerves are steeled. Final prayers said. Ready to be ravaged by the demons and finally tossed into the abyss from which there can be no return.

The moment does not arrive.

Cautiously, eyes open up to the welcome sight of rays of rescue! 
Optimism and hope are driving back despair. 
 Flaws swallowed up by Attributes. 
Weaknesses, regrets and mistakes wiped from consciousness by Inner Strength and Forgiveness.
Loathing and self pity beheaded by self esteem. 
Anger arrested by self control. 
Fear, doubt and hopelessness take off at full throttle. 
Cowardly, brave soldiers and yet alive to raise an army once more.
Battered, bruised...barely whole, but alive...


...And yet not quite totally confident, as a creeping apprehension lies down to sleep, ready to awaken when the rays of light depart yet again....

but Conviction is sharpening his blade, ready to wrestle. The army of doubt shall not win.