Monday, 13 February 2012

United We Spit!!!

Despite being very sad about Whitney Houston's passing, I managed to find something to amuse myself (this story and a facebook update about how the shocking performance of the Black Stars killed Whitney...I'm sorry, couldn't help it.)

Apparently, the Enfield Council in North London is trying to get a bye law passed to fine people caught spitting in the street. (Read more: Fines for spitting? * Enfield to outlaw spitting ).
Obviously not a precision spitter.

If passed a spot fine of 80 pounds will be imposed, and refusal to pay could lead to prosecution and a further fine of 5,000 pounds! Over 3,000 people endorsed a petition in favour of the ban! It must really bother the people of Enfield.

And why not?? It is quite a dirty habit. It raises serious public health issues. Some forms of bacteria, eg tuberculosis bacillus  can live for a very long time under the right conditions and would only need the right gust of wind to transmit it to the nearest person.
the US had to launch a public campaign against spitting to combat TB

Besides, it's very annoying to have to dodge bit and bobs of phlegm and/or what ever constituents of spittle that cannot and preferably should not be ascertained. (Those who sit in cars all the time and never get out are excused for not knowing how this feels) The very sight of some of these globs can lend one a good reason to diet, at least for the rest of the day. I can excuse pregnant women for spitting, as they may produce excess saliva during pregnancy...But if you're not pregnant...what's your excuse??

Those of us here in Ghana will not agree to with the people of Enfield. AT ALLLLLLL. 
How!!?? Look, it is a human right to spit where we please!
How preposterous to even insinuate otherwise! smh. Abrofo paa!! Ours is a nation of precision spitters, praying for it to be made an Olympic sport so the world can be in awe of our talents. I cannot overemphasize precision. I cannot say I have heard any fights break out because a glob landed on another person's foot. It always lands just before you place your foot down, giving you enough notice to side step it. Very considerate, are we not? It unites us as a people, irrespective of tribe or economic status , spitting in the streets brings us together. You think only poor, uneducated people spit?? Think again! People walking and in trotros spit, while windows of Land Cruisers slide down to enable a driver or passenger(s) to bless the street with a gesture of love. The beggar spits and the one dropping notes into his calabash spits too.
The pregnant and pot bellied spit freely side by side. The skinny and underweight are not prevented from exercising their right.
Disease? oh, i'm sure the hot, scorching sun disinfects the air of any toxins before we inhale it. Nyame na owh3 y3nso.
Can you imagine, who kraa? A Police man or AMA task force officers trying to enforce spitting ban? they have a better chance of raising the money from fines by organising a competition instead. You pay to enter and have to hit a number of targets. Winner gets a prize.

We wish Enfield all the best, ayekoo! and Singapore too. It is our human right to spit where we please and we shall exercise it. Those disturbing us all with manners and etiquette; and acting as if they have been wounded when a well aimed shot lands in front of them, take your abrofosem elsewhere.
we don't want to hear it.

Those with the TB argument, hospitals are even offering free treatment, so please allow us. As for Hepatitis A, B,C to Z how can all those alphabets fly through spit? Those asking us to spit into handkerchiefs, you may do it if you please. It is your right, but I would rather use my hanky to wipe my sweaty forehead. Why waste my hanky and how will I practice for the Olympics???
smh. This is how it starts! Soon they will say that when nature calls you in public you should urinate on oneself and not relive yourself o! smh!

Nb. If you fail to grasp that this is sarcasm, all I can say is: